USA elimination comes as disappointment to Americans and absolutely no one else

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SEATTLE - The US Men's National Team's elimination in...

Americans celebrate milestone anniversary of Will Smith dropping that dope line on that alien

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WASHINGTON, DC - Preparations are underway in the nation's...

Stanley Cup: Toronto plans “We told you so!” parade

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TORONTO - With the Carolina Hurricanes winning a Stanley...

Don Cherry condemns CanMNT for playing on green ice

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TORONTO - Following an exciting opening match that saw...

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USA elimination comes as disappointment to Americans and absolutely no one else

The Rest 0
SEATTLE - The US Men's National Team's elimination in...

Americans celebrate milestone anniversary of Will Smith dropping that dope line on that alien

The Rest 0
WASHINGTON, DC - Preparations are underway in the nation's...

Stanley Cup: Toronto plans “We told you so!” parade

The Rest 0
TORONTO - With the Carolina Hurricanes winning a Stanley...

Don Cherry condemns CanMNT for playing on green ice

The Rest 0
TORONTO - Following an exciting opening match that saw...

Canada without Governor General after Arbour fails skill-testing question

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OTTAWA - The office of Governor General went unfilled...
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Racist mom insists she’s not turned on by Diljit Dosanjh

OTTAWA - In the midst of widespread online celebration of Diljit Dosanjh, local racist mom Andrea McAllister is insisting she is not aroused by the...
The Rest

Connor McDavid’s parents file for conservatorship of son

EDMONTON - After his club was eliminated by the...
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NHL to award Lady Byng Trophy to President Donald J. Trump

NEW YORK CITY - As the NHL begins its...

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PSA: Not all Karens are Bad

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We here at The Empty Press would like to...
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Province to replace iconic Peggy’s Cove lighthouse with roundabout

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HALIFAX - In a stirring decision, the province of...
World

Smug software developer confident she can solve Iran conflict with simple regex

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REGINA - As the US-Iran conflict deepens, smug software...
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NHL insists Patel “just a hockey guy” in the same way that Palin “just a hockey mom”

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NEW YORK CITY - After Kash Patel featured prominently...
National

Haligonians looking forward to annual Jazz Festiddy vestiddy bee doop bop bop..

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HALIFAX - Residents of the old Ocean Playground are...

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