Hegseth Appoints New Deputy: Love Sausage
WASHINGTON, DC – As part of a spate of new hires, a new American Deputy Secretary of Defense has been named in the form...
Gazan child hopes to live as long as Hayden Panettiere
GAZA CITY - As the world mourns the tragic passing of actress Hayden Panettiere, one Gazan child is expressing the hope that she might...
Kim Ju Ae orders execution of field hockey rival
SEOUL - According to reports from South Korean intelligence officials, Kim Ju Ae, the daughter of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, has ordered...
Smug software developer confident she can solve Iran conflict with simple regex
REGINA - As the US-Iran conflict deepens, smug software developer Sandra Cline is confident she can solve the matter by leveraging her well-honed regex...
“None of this is political!” insist hockey players wearing MAGA hats while singing Iraq War anthem and drinking beers with Director of the FBI
WASHINGTON, DC - In the face of mounting criticism, MAGA-hat wearing members of the Olympic-champion USA Men's Hockey team insisted that their post victory...