EDMONTON — As Albertans prepare for next month’s separation referendum, Premier Danielle Smith posted a tearful message explaining that the vote is the result of residents feeling as though they’re being treated like Atlantic Canadians.
Speaking to viewers of an online forum, Ms. Smith detailed her grievance. “For the last ten years, Albertans have been hurting, and our federal government is doing nothing,” she began. “Our economy is suffering, rural communities are wasting away, and Ottawa has responded by ignoring our plight like we’re some common New Brunswickers!”
The premier saved her worst attacks for the Prime Minister himself. “Mr. Carney has demonstrated a patent lack of respect for Albertans and their resources,” she fumed. “The ‘No New Pipelines’ Act, the caps on oil-and-gas production, and these overbearing clean-energy regulations — it’s as though he thinks he can just strong-arm us into giving up our rights, like he’s some kind of Stephen Harper forcing Nova Scotia and Newfoundland to just give up their offshore revenues!”
“Can you imagine some topsy-turvy universe where Albertans are forced to move out East to work on wind farms, while simultaneously being mocked and berated by the locals as lazy leeches?”
In closing, the UCP leader made a final pitch to the country as a whole. “My fellow Canadians, if we don’t take greater measures to secure our fossil-fuel sector, Alberta could crumble into the sea… like Prince Edward Island!”
