QUEBEC CITY – As the province comes to grips with shocking revelations of racially biased policing in a multicultural Montreal neighbourhood, Premier Christine Fréchette is defending the accused officers on the grounds that committing acts of violence against People of Colour is a vital piece of Quebec’s cultural heritage.
“In the face of Anglophone aggression, it is of utmost importance to preserve our identity,” said the Premier. “With that in mind, our officers were merely following their mandate of preserving our Québécois traditions by reminding Black and Brown people that they are subhuman vermin who are not welcome here.”
Fréchette continued by observing that the accused officers’ actions could be directly tied to the earliest days of French Canadian history. “These gendarmes were simply reliving moments that trace back to the very beginnings of New France,” she said. “Their ancestors before them spent many cold nights collecting beaver pelts, and they chose to honour that past by spending many long shifts collecting the hair of Haitian teenagers.”
Asked what concerned minority residents could do to make their interactions with constables less frightening, the Premier was less certain.
“I don’t know, maybe those Muslim kids could try wearing a crucifix?”
Meanwhile, Prime Minister Mark Carney is refusing to interfere in the matter, noting, “While I disagree with the idea that police brutality is an important part of Quebec heritage, it is an important part of Canadian heritage to let Quebec get away with whatever the hell it wants.”
