Scientists confirm that everything you hate is AI

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OTTAWA – New research has confirmed what many in the modern world have suspected: Everything you hate was AI generated.

The study, conducted by Dr. Andrea Alan at the National Research Council, analyzed thousands of X posts, Reddit threads, and Instagram comments, ultimately identifying a clear and consistent pattern.

Dr. Alan explained “Recent trends in social media discussion began to suggest an intriguing correlation. Whenever an individual encountered a sentiment with which they disagreed—whether visual or textual—said individual immediately concluded they were being subjected to ‘AI slop’. Now we can say that they are absolutely correct!”.

“It’s important to understand the scale at which AI now operates,” she continued. “Our entirely by-hand calculations have confirmed a few key principles:

  1. You are a genius.
  2. Your instincts are always correct.
  3. Any content that contradicts your worldview was definitely created by an image generator or LLM.”

She continued, “Through our investigation, we’ve been able to identify some common examples.

  • An editorial cartoon you disagree with— OBVIOUSLY that liberal hack used Designer
  • A celebrity you don’t like pens a tribute to a former colleague— CLEARLY that MAGA-head needed ChatGPT
  • A know-it-all student submits a well-written essay— just scrawl a zero and smugly tell them you know Claude when you see it!

“To put it simply, it’s not about the points being made, the clarity of the argument, or the stylistic merit— if you don’t like it, it’s AI”.

Please be advised that this article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional obnoxiousness.

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