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AI calculates ideal museum navigation route for people with OCD

NEW YORK CITY - Machine Learning firm Navigational Dynamics has announced the development of a mobile application, rOuteCD, that can plot the perfect path...

PSA: Not all Karens are Bad

We here at The Empty Press would like to take a moment to register our frustration with a recent trend. The colloquialism "Karen" used...

Pathetic Bachelor torn between support for Loblaw boycott and reliance on PC Meals

EDMONTON - Thirty-seven-year-old, unmarried, insurance adjuster Chris Reinhardt is finding himself in a bind as he balances his belief in the message being sent...

Calgarians concerned that more homes could lead to more people living in them

CALGARY - Recent efforts to rezone Calgarian communities to allow for more townhouses, duplexes and row houses has run up against opposition from citizens...

Mariko-sama commits seppuku outside offices of Nova Scotia Power

HALIFAX - Editor's Note: It was a shocking scene at sunset, yesterday, when our beloved Toda Mariko took her own life in protest of...

Breaking

Tearful Danielle Smith says Albertans being treated like Atlantic Canadians

EDMONTON — As Albertans prepare for next month's separation...

Obnoxious player criticised for obnoxious response to obnoxious behaviour of obnoxious teammates

SAN JOSE - A controversy appears to be brewing...

Chicoutimi win leaves residents hopeful that Feds might finally show some interest in Quebec

CHICOUTIMI - After Daniel Gobeil's win in the Chicoutimi–Le...

Outraged Canadians pretend they care about French language requirements

OTTAWA - After trade negotiations collapsed following demands from...