WASHINGTON, DC – Preparations are underway in the nation’s capital today as Americans gather to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the time Will Smith said, “Welcome to Earth!” to that alien in the film “Independence Day”.
Visitors to the National Mall expressed their excitement for the festivities. “Today isn’t just about that dope line,” said Philadelphia resident Cynthia Halburne. “It’s triumph in the face of adversity!”. She continued, “There’s no denying this nation has fallen on hard times, but I think it’s important that we look back on the good ones, too. Now’s a chance for us to remember how we all laughed when Steve punched that Harvester and said ‘Now that’s what I call a close encounter!'”.
Iowan Eleanor Mulberry put the auspicious event in perspective. “As we celebrate, it’s also a good moment to take a look at how much the world has changed since then,” she explained. “I mean, can you believe there was a time when it wouldn’t seem ridiculous for the POTUS to give a rousing speech, not evade military service, and object to the casual destruction of the White House?”.
“Still, this is an opportunity to celebrate the man who gave us that iconic line,” she continued. “The man who used to elicit gasps by piloting a space fighter into a mothership, rather than by slapping an innocent person on live TV. The charming cut-up who attracted almost universal admiration, instead of a deranged weirdo who comes across as a member of a cult led by his even more frightening wife”.
“Today’s the day to say ‘Remember when Will Smith was cool?'”
Before taking her leave, Halburne encouraged others to join in the revelry by hacking into complex systems using a retro Mac, smoking cigars, and imagining a world where an alien invasion sounds like a bad thing.
