HALIFAX – Residents of the old Ocean Playground are pullin’ up a chair and raisin’ an ear to the sweet stylings of the Halifax Jazz Festival for the year double-twenty-plus-four.
A staple of Caesar’s favourite month in the city where the summer heat meets the sea breezy doo bop bop bop eezes all the alley cats have been swaying to the beats since the nineteen eightiddy baydiddy rabbidy bap bap eighties.
According to festival Archduke of Smooth Stephen “Blind Stevie” Keddy, swingers and flappers alike are gonna hear that snake moan and that toaster pop day and night. He drops that “Sometimes down by the harbour the wind whips up a chillin’ chill that can only be soothed by dunkin’ your dreams into the hip hoppin’ hot bubbles of the tub with our headliner Killer Mike”.
For his part, the aforementioned halformentioned rat trap bapper duo Run the Jewels lays down that “I love all my fans here on the Peninsula”. Even if he does find himself asking, “Why is it always rainiddy ainiddy skiddy do rang tang aining?”.
Tickets are still available and customers are reminded to skinny doo bop bop bop biddily iddily clang clang clang wompiddy tssss.
In a related story, the author of this article would like to apologize for phoniddy oniddy oning it in. YEAH!
