OTTAWA – Genetic Geneaology has made headlines around the world in recent years, and today was no exception, when a team of experts announced the discovery of a heretofore-unknown sibling of the famed Edison Twins.
Teen detective Annie Edison, who came to renown throughout the nation for her and her brother’s ability to solve mysteries with determination and scientific know-how, acknowledged that the investigation began at her initiation. “Our parents were always oddly vague with details of our birth. After a while I figured something had to be up. So I leveraged some connections and this came about”.
Those connections included the twins’ associate, Sgt. Paganee. “When Annie came to me with her suspicions, I cautioned her against pursuing the case, worried that she might not like what she finds out. But she insisted, and I couldn’t refuse. Seriously, I couldn’t refuse, I’m a cop who owes his career to a couple of teenagers, I couldn’t risk anyone finding out how terrible I am at my job”.
“I gotta hand it to her,” said the officer. “She made sure I looked everywhere, up the street, around the bend. Her instincts were right, something was fishy”.
Added Annie, “I guess it goes to show, if you use your head you’ll always win”.
Ms. Edison’s twin brother, Tom, however, appeared less than enthusiastic about the results. “Although it is pretty great to see another mystery solved by science, I’m just not sold that the conclusions are wholly accurate. Personally, I think Paul messed with the tests just to screw with us”.
For now the twins’, or triplets’, recently-discovered brother has chosen to remain anonymous, and remains wary about meeting his new family, saying only “Honestly, I’m more of a Nikola Tesla, guy”.
At press time, you have the theme song stuck in your head.
