From The Desk

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White girl outraged by Robbie snub takes solace in knowledge that Gladstone didn’t win

LOS ANGELES - After being angered by the lack of an Oscar nomination for Margot Robbie, following her turn in box-office hit Barbie, noted...

Local asshole says “thank you” without adding “so much”

DARTMOUTH - The community was left aghast, once again, this week, after local dickhead Derek Osment responded to Kent Building Supplies employee Marek Svehla's...

Irate manager changes umpire’s mind

CANTON - A bad call in a Stark County Semi-Pro Baseball League today, after Louisville Barons manager Dave Benson charged home-plate and convinced Umpire...

Employee improves productivity by playing YouTube videos at 1.5x speed

THE OFFICE - Afini Turnbull in Sales has scored another win for the home office, today, after recognising she can improve her already-impressive performance...

Trans kids of colour used to teachers calling them the wrong name

OTTAWA - With New Brunswick, Saskatchewan and Alberta having passed what many consider to be virulently-transphobic laws forcing Trans children to be addressed by...

Breaking

Tearful Danielle Smith says Albertans being treated like Atlantic Canadians

EDMONTON — As Albertans prepare for next month's separation...

Obnoxious player criticised for obnoxious response to obnoxious behaviour of obnoxious teammates

SAN JOSE - A controversy appears to be brewing...

Chicoutimi win leaves residents hopeful that Feds might finally show some interest in Quebec

CHICOUTIMI - After Daniel Gobeil's win in the Chicoutimi–Le...

Outraged Canadians pretend they care about French language requirements

OTTAWA - After trade negotiations collapsed following demands from...