CHICOUTIMI – After Daniel Gobeil’s win in the Chicoutimi–Le Fjord byelection, Quebec residents are hopeful that the Liberal victory will mean that the federal government will finally take an interest in the province.
“This is a great day, not just for Chicoutimi–Le Fjord, but for all of La Belle Province!” exclaimed a jubilant Gobeil. “With our victory, the people of Quebec will no longer need to leave in fear that those in power might go more than 10 minutes without talking about us!”
Mr. Gobeil’s sentiments were echoed throughout the province. “Mr. Carney seems like a nice man, but how can we be sure that our interests will be of concern to a man from such an attention-commanding part of the country as the Northwest Territories?” asked Renée Deschamps of Lac-des-Aigles. “We’ve had a very difficult time being heard no matter how hard we try! Maybe now someone in Ottawa will actually criticise us when we pass blatantly racist laws!”
“At the very least we won’t have to threaten to leave in order to get what we want. I mean, we will, of course, but we won’t need to.”
Mr. Gobeil did, however, strike a note of caution, reminding his voters “Change moves slower than one of the icebreakers on which the federal government spends billions to clear the St. Lawrence for ships that could easily go to Halifax, instead.”
At press time, the entirety of Prince Edward Island was swallowed by a giant sinkhole and no one noticed.
