HALIFAX – The Mic Mac Mall Santa packed in his supplies, yesterday, after spending winter season with minimal visitation.
“It seems like folks just don’t have time for ol’ Kris Kringle anymore,” lamented the famed holiday gift giver. “I guess I’m just not hip enough this modern world. They’d rather hang out with the cool guy on the other side of the mall”.
The jolly elf explained the global popularity of the shopping centre’s famed Woody the Talking Christmas Tree had led to a lack of interest in his annual audience with the public.
“What can I say, it’s a Tiktok world. Parents used to share photos of their smiling children sitting with twinkle-eyed, rosy-cheeked St. Nicholas, now they’d rather post videos of them being traumatised by an Eldritch terror of an evergreen monstrosity”.
In a related story, you twisted weirdos would rather watch “Krampus” than “It’s a Wonderful Life”.
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