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Canadian soccer player subjected to racist comments because of course he fucking was
OTTAWA - Statements of shock were expressed by, we assume, White people, because literally no person of colour with half-a-fucking-brain should be remotely surprised,...
Debate genius trounces all comers with well-timed salvo of “He hasn’t won the Cup!”
DARTMOUTH - An excited mass of reporters crowded into a small conference room, this morning, to get a chance to speak with Arnold Morris,...
A&W’s ‘Blue Jays Win, You Win’ promotion going exactly as planned
TORONTO - It was a calm and pleasant mood at A&W headquarters, this week, as another poor showing by the Toronto Blue Jays meant...
Leafs brass promises to address team’s problems by trading away more first round picks
TORONTO - Following another tough elimination early in the Stanley Cup playoffs, Maple Leafs executives have stated that they intend to improve the club’s...
Rudy Gobert promises league and fans he won’t go anywhere near a glass of milk
MINNEAPOLIS - With news that traces of the H5N1 virus have been found in unpasteurised milk from infected cows, Timberwolves star Rudy Gobert has...