H Clair

18 POSTS
Fundamentally useless.

Exclusive articles:

A&W’s ‘Blue Jays Win, You Win’ promotion going exactly as planned

TORONTO - It was a calm and pleasant mood at A&W headquarters, this week, as another poor showing by the Toronto Blue Jays meant...

Leafs brass promises to address team’s problems by trading away more first round picks

TORONTO - Following another tough elimination early in the Stanley Cup playoffs, Maple Leafs executives have stated that they intend to improve the club’s...

Rudy Gobert promises league and fans he won’t go anywhere near a glass of milk

MINNEAPOLIS - With news that traces of the H5N1 virus have been found in unpasteurised milk from infected cows, Timberwolves star Rudy Gobert has...

Matthews prepares for playoffs by failing to score important goal

TORONTO - After failing to reach the magical 70-goal plateau, Maple Leafs centre Auston Matthews explained that his inability to score the milestone marker...

Media buzzing after hockey player scores lacrosse-style goal for ten-billionth time

BOSTON - Hockey media was full of excited chatter, yesterday, after Hurricanes forward Andrei Svechnikov did the unthinkable and scored the rare lacrosse-style goal,...

Breaking

NHL insists Patel “just a hockey guy” in the same way that Palin “just a hockey mom”

NEW YORK CITY - After Kash Patel featured prominently...

Liberal hockey fan insists he never liked Gretzky

HALIFAX - In the midst of Wayne Gretzky facing...

Yellowjackets fans ask “Wait, who’s THAT?”

WASHINGTON, DC - As hit Showtime offering "Yellowjackets" rolls...

Nova Scotians would just like to watch hockey without hearing cringey comments about the province

HALIFAX - After a thrilling overtime victory for Canada...