NORTH POLE – With Christmas past and toys delivered, elves are free to return to battling orcs and goblins and various other forms of magical bloodshed.
“November and December are what we like to call our ‘cute time of the year’,” explained Candybell Jinglefeet of Gumdrop Lane. “Feeding the reindeer, singing carols, spreading cheer. But once Santa’s sac is filled and the toys are out for delivery, it’s back to usual elf behaviour. Y’know your usual immortal fantasy being stuff, quests, piercing firey arrows through the burning flesh of Nazgul, slitting the throats of Uruk-hai, all manner of fantasy destruction”.
Santa’s Workshop Foreman Fuzzyjoy Hollyberry concurred. “For two wonderful months I’m directing the construction of toys and trinkets all with the objective of bring joy to the hearts of children”. “But,” he continued, “Now it’s back to directing the armies of good against the forces of evil in a violent struggle against dragons, demons and the thralls of the Dark Lord, all with the objective of bringing terror to the hearts of anyone who defies us”.
At press time, the author of this article is spending Christmas Day watching a marathon of the Lord of the Rings by themselves.
