Matthews prepares for playoffs by failing to score important goal

Date:

TORONTO – After failing to reach the magical 70-goal plateau, Maple Leafs centre Auston Matthews explained that his inability to score the milestone marker in the final two games of the season was part of his preparation for the upcoming Stanley Cup Playoffs.

“With these last several games I knew it was important to get into a playoff mindset,” explained the star sniper, “and for me, that means showing my teammates that when we need a big goal in a big moment, I can’t be counted on”.

Team coach Sheldon Keefe echoed his points-leader’s sentiment. “This is the Toronto Maple Leafs, and I can think of no better way for our top guy to represent our organisation, than by getting everyone’s hopes up with a fantastic display, leaving success seemingly inevitable, before somehow managing to flame out”.

Asked if he is up to the challenge of disappointing the nation’s largest fanbase, the Rocket Richard winner seemed confident, saying “I like our chances. We’re playing the Bruins, after all”.

H Clair
H Clair
Fundamentally useless.

Share post:

Popular

More like this
Related

In lieu of jet, Ford to be carried on litter followed by rose petal–scattering virgins

TORONTO — After weeks of controversy, Ontario Premier Doug...

PEI Finance Minister says new budget “Made in Nova Scotia!”

CHARLOTTETOWN - PEI Finance Minister Jill Burridge has proudly...

Kim Ju Ae orders execution of field hockey rival

SEOUL - According to reports from South Korean intelligence...

Scientists confirm that everything you hate is AI

OTTAWA - New research has confirmed what many in...