TORONTO – The rise of hockey analytics has been driven by teams, coaches and parents seeking any competitive edge they can get by studying patterns and trends. With that in mind, many statisticians who focus on the frozen-game are proffering a simple axiom: If you want your kid to ‘make it’, name him Connor.
Chief Data Scientist at Hockey Numbers, Inc., Mary Barinholtz explained the origins of this advice. “I know it might seem a little silly, but pattern recognition is an important part of Sports Science,” she said, “And after watching countless hours of NHL broadcasts, our team couldn’t help but observe that there are a lot of people named Connor”.
Ms. Barinholtz provided examples of the compelling Connor-curio. “Obviously, the first names that come to mind for most people are superstar forwards like McDavid, and rookie phenoms like Bedard, but it doesn’t end there”. She continued, “We’ve also seen the name crop up in goaltenders, like Winnipeg back-stopper Hellebuyck, and defensemen like Seattle’s Carrick”.
“We’re also seeing a spike in variants. There’s a notable increase in single-en Conors, like Timmins, and, besides Connors popping up as first names, we’re also seeing surnames, like the Jets’ Kyle Connor. That’s right, one of the best teams in the league has TWO Connors!”.
Asked what might be the source of this Connor-concentration, Barinholtz was non-committal. “We’ve had theories. For example, Connor’s an Irish name, and you gotta figure, a coach like Don Cherry would definitely sign any ‘Fine broth of a lad’, but no other Irish names had that kind of permeation. So, then we thought that the name has some really strong consonant sounds, making it a perfect name to scream over the usual rink-din of slapshots, curse-words and Dad-fights”.
However, Barinholtz herself subscribes something more era-based. “Personally, I’m married to the idea that a lot of future-parents were, in the early-aughts, fans of the David Boreanaz-vehicle Angel“.
Before concluding her Connor-conference Mary suggested that skeptics do their own research. “I know this sounds like some bullshit a satirical-news writer threw together to meet the assignment, but seriously, look it up, it’s actually kind of weird!”.
