LONDON – Editor’s note: In a celebration of our past, we like to periodically share an article from our archives. The following was first printed May 19th, 1880.
With Queen Victoria out of the public eye for several months, British newspapers are rampant with speculation as to what’s behind the Monarch’s seeming disappearance.
“It’s been absolutely disrespectful,” fumed family friend Lady Margaret Walpole. “I don’t understand what it is about an obscenely wealthy person, who lives in a giant castle, and to whom hundreds of millions evidently owe their allegiance, that prompts people to dissect their every movement and furiously discuss their actions and personal lives in such detail. For God’s sake, she’s been through enough, she’s a widow, she’s watched her subjects fight numerous wars in her name, and her relatives keep getting haemophilia!”.
Perhaps the most scandalous of all the chatter include rumours that the Queen is engaged in a clandestine affair with Duleep Singh, the exiled Maharajah of Lahore; rumours so salacious, that they have lead many of the nations most scandalous ink-slingers to dub the Monarch the “Seductress of India”.
Lady Margaret was particularly bothered with this assertion, noting that the public was reading far too much into the Monarch’s comments about the Sikh Emperor, of whom she wrote “those eyes and those teeth are too beautiful” (Seriously, look it up! But, not on Wikipedia, that doesn’t exist, yet). “Besides,” she continued, “If they are in a relationship, what’s the big deal, anyway? It’s almost the 20th century, people! I can’t imagine the idea of a person of colour joining the royal family would lead to much controversy”.
While being unsure of Her Majesty’s current location, Walpole did explicitly dismiss a particular theory. “One thing is for sure, she’s not getting a BBL, that girl’s already plenty thicc”.
