From The Desk

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Finale of World War II drama just 72-minute take of a White man masturbating

LOS ANGELES - Viewers of the third instalment in the Band of Brothers series, Masters of the Air, were treated to a unique experience...

White girl outraged by Robbie snub takes solace in knowledge that Gladstone didn’t win

LOS ANGELES - After being angered by the lack of an Oscar nomination for Margot Robbie, following her turn in box-office hit Barbie, noted...

Local asshole says “thank you” without adding “so much”

DARTMOUTH - The community was left aghast, once again, this week, after local dickhead Derek Osment responded to Kent Building Supplies employee Marek Svehla's...

Irate manager changes umpire’s mind

CANTON - A bad call in a Stark County Semi-Pro Baseball League today, after Louisville Barons manager Dave Benson charged home-plate and convinced Umpire...

Employee improves productivity by playing YouTube videos at 1.5x speed

THE OFFICE - Afini Turnbull in Sales has scored another win for the home office, today, after recognising she can improve her already-impressive performance...

Breaking

Tragic scenes after Megadeth fans massacred by ghost of Eileen Stubbs

HALIFAX - Tragedy struck the provincial capital today, as...

Smug software developer confident she can solve Iran conflict with simple regex

REGINA - As the US-Iran conflict deepens, smug software...

Local nerd looking forward to getting some shopping done tomorrow

HALIFAX - With the entire country sure to be...