HALIFAX – After fast-tracking a bill affirming Armed Forces members’ right to wear their uniforms in public places, the Houston government has tabled another bill affirming their right to dance like nobody’s watching.
According to Barbara Adams, the minister responsible for military relations, the motions were necessary following a controversial request from a local elementary school that veterans attending their annual Remembrance Day commemoration wear civilian clothing, given concerns that military garb may trigger traumatic memories in some students who had recently left war-torn countries.
“When I heard about the request, I was appalled,” explained Ms. Adams. “So, naturally, it was imperative that our government show our support for our men and women in military by enshrining in to law whatever might be under attack from the Woke agenda of caring whether children have night-terrors!”.
“With that I say, loudly and proudly, that, not only may our veterans wear their uniforms, but they are also free to swing their arms and shake their hips without the least bit of self-consciousness, or concern that one of their flailing limbs might crack a toddler across the skull!”.
The governments action was met with a strong endorsement from local armed forces members.
“Finally! Someone who actually supports us!” exclaimed Private Aaron Townsend. “When I was clearing mines in Kabul, the only thing that kept me going was that I was ensuring a future where I could get up from my seat and bust a move without worrying about some bleeding-heart Liberal saying ‘Sir, this is a funeral’!”.
Warrant Officer Wendy MacIsaac agreed. “I still can’t believe the nerve of that school,” she fumed. “Not only am I going to proudly wear my uniform at the next ceremony, but I’m also going to totally get jiggy with it! I hope those kids didn’t witness any arson attacks, because my moves are going to be straight fire!”.
Before taking his leave, Townsend took a moment to applaud the Houston government. “It’s just nice to know that we’ve got folks in power who have their priorities straight! Adams, Houston and the gang are welcome to visit me any time.. in my tent”.
