HALIFAX – In a stirring decision, the province of Nova Scotia has announced plans to replace its iconic Peggy’s Cove lighthouse with a roundabout.
Speaking with reporters, Minister of Public Works Fred Tilley espoused the project as a symbol of the government’s pledge to modernise the province.
“The Peggys Point Lighthouse may have been a iconic image of Nova Scotia’s past, but it was just that, the past” he explained. “We want to celebrate Nova Scotia’s present, and what is more emblematic of our province at this moment than roundabouts freaking everywhere?!”.
The Minister condemned the famous landmark as a useless ember of the past. “Look, it might make for pretty photos, but that’s about it. Lighthouses are obsolete! I mean, for God’s sake, it used to have a Post Office!”.
He continued, “Look I get it, it’s pretty and all that, but we’ve had kind of a rough run, lately. The premier can’t go 20 minutes without unnecessarily pissing people off, the least we can do is remind people of the ONE thing we’ve done right!”.
Despite his excitement, Tilley did caution that the project will not be without its concerns, noting “The hardest part is going to be keeping idiots from driving on the black rocks”.
In closing, Tilley proposed a new slogan for the province. “Nova Scotia: come for the ocean, stay for the quick, efficient trip around Bedford Basin”.
