OTTAWA – With preparations underway for tomorrow’s state funeral for former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, many Canadians of Indian ancestry are responding by sending their condolences to the Republic of Ireland.
Chandra Gulati of Edmonton explained his motivations. “Mr. Mulroney understood how such solemn matters should be handled,” he said. “When 268 Canadians were murdered in the Air India Flight 182 bombing, he addressed it with the kind of humanity you’d expect from someone like him; by sending a letter to the Prime Minister of India”.
“Frankly, I’m disgusted with how many political figures chose to express their dismay at his passing in THIS country,” adds Mr. Gulati’s colleague Adil Mirza. “Did they learn nothing from that great man? Condolences to his family?! COME ON! Did he contact the families of the victims’ loved ones? No! He acted appropriately, and sent a nice note to the Head of State of a country full of people who kind of looked like them!”.
Sheila Mathew of Burlington agreed. “When my eleven-year-old cousin’s life was taken over the Atlantic Ocean that awful day, did ol’ Brian think to call us to help guide us through our grief? No way”. She continued, “He did his duty, and sent his sorrow to Chennai, even though Samuel couldn’t speak a word of Tamil! Meanwhile, this guy knew all the words to When Irish Eyes Are Smiling and you morons display his casket in Montreal?! All I can say is those eulogies better be in Gaelic!”
Residents of Mr. Mulroney’s hometown also expressed their sadness. “I actually grew up down the street from the Mulroneys,” said Gagan Brar of Baie-Comeau, “So I knew better than to drop off some froufrou card to his relatives. Instead I got a hold of the Taoiseach’s number and called him personally”.
“It was a little strange though, when he mentioned his last name was Varadkar, I had to ask ‘dude, are you lost?’. He was very nice, but seemed a little confused, I guess they just don’t get our Canadian customs”.
When asked if such gestures to the Emerald Isle were inappropriate or even insulting to a man who happily embraced Canada as his home, Ms. Brar expressed little concern. “Frankly, if I am wrong, I’ll just do the right thing, and never apologise or try make amends, with no concern that anyone in the nation’s media will ask me to address the subject, before they eventually forget about it altogether, and ultimately end up writing puff-pieces talking about me like I’m Jesus just for thinking Apartheid wasn’t nice”.
