The Empty Press

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Tag: Politics

NHL insists Patel “just a hockey guy” in the same way that Palin “just a hockey mom”

NEW YORK CITY - After Kash Patel featured prominently during Alexander Ovechkin's record-breaking performances in Washington and Long Island, the NHL's brass is vociferously...

UFC Champ scores KO victory after looking down at his phone

SAN JOSE - The crowd was buzzing at UFC Fight Night after new Middleweight Champion Steve "No-Vax" Johnson, claimed an epic knockout win after...

Jeremy Cockrill apologises for saying he’s human

REGINA - After responding to concerns about the province's education system from a grieving mother by flippantly asking her if she wanted him to...

Biden campaign promises to Make America Ferrera Again

WASHINGTON - With a campaign in full swing, President Joe Biden's re-election team has opted for a slogan that counters his opponent’s famed "Make...

NS Government proposes augmenting EMS with fleet of Boo-Boo kissing Grandmas

HALIFAX - After announcing his plans to create the Nova Scotia Guard, a collection of volunteers to be leveraged in emergencies, as opposed to...

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Ford moves to designate Northern Ontario as international waters

TORONTO - In the wake of First Nations communities...

Panthers hope to lift Leafs’ spirits by taking them to prom

TORONTO - Twenty-four hours after the Toronto Maple Leafs...

NHL announces new partnership with Corrections Canada

NEW YORK CITY - Speaking to a crowd of...

Canadians hopeful boring PM means Americans will go back to not knowing anything about them

OTTAWA - After Monday's election saw the affirmation of...