WASHINGTON, DC – With protests against actions by Israeli forces in Gaza dominating headlines, political leaders in the United States and Europe are condemning the protestors for being motivated by anti-Semitism, an insidious force that traces its origins to political leaders in the United States and Europe.
In a meeting with other Western World leaders, American President Joe Biden excoriated opponents of the current Israeli regime. “I really can’t believe the nerve of these folks. The Jewish people have suffered greatly throughout their history, and now these protestors are just waving away concerns about their safety, like our government rejected Jewish refugees during the Holocaust! Who do you think you are? Us?!”.
British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak echoed the POTUS’s sentiments. “We’re talking about millions of people,” he said, “what do they want to do, expel them?! We’re talking about Israel in 2024, not England in 1290! Do you think you could just commit an act of Judenhass and walk away with a clear conscience? That’s our thing!”.
Mr. Sunak and Biden’s statements were met with enthusiastic agreement from French President Emmanuel Macron. “The things we’re hearing from these Palestinian activists are extremely troubling. ‘Occupation’, ‘colonisation’, ‘apartheid’?! What’s next? ‘Deicide’, ‘well poisoning’, ‘blood libel’? Don’t steal our stuff!”.
Mr. Sunak added “These Muslim-majority countries in Asia and Africa are starting to sound a lot like the countries of Europe. Except of course Albania, the Muslim-majority nation whose Jewish population, despite Nazi occupation, actually increased during World War II”.
Reached for comment German Chancellor Olaf Scholz declined to elaborate, saying simply “I think it’s best I just keep my mouth shut”.
