H Clair

16 POSTS
Fundamentally useless.

Exclusive articles:

Stanley Cup parade organisers looking forward to confirming every negative stereotype about hockey players

FORT LAUDERDALE - With the Florida Panthers crowned NHL champions, organisers of the team's championship celebration festivities are excited for the opportunity to confirm...

Canadian soccer player subjected to racist comments because of course he fucking was

OTTAWA - Statements of shock were expressed by, we assume, White people, because literally no person of colour with half-a-fucking-brain should be remotely surprised,...

Debate genius trounces all comers with well-timed salvo of “He hasn’t won the Cup!”

DARTMOUTH - An excited mass of reporters crowded into a small conference room, this morning, to get a chance to speak with Arnold Morris,...

A&W’s ‘Blue Jays Win, You Win’ promotion going exactly as planned

TORONTO - It was a calm and pleasant mood at A&W headquarters, this week, as another poor showing by the Toronto Blue Jays meant...

Leafs brass promises to address team’s problems by trading away more first round picks

TORONTO - Following another tough elimination early in the Stanley Cup playoffs, Maple Leafs executives have stated that they intend to improve the club’s...

Breaking

Yellowjackets fans ask “Wait, who’s THAT?”

WASHINGTON, DC - As hit Showtime offering "Yellowjackets" rolls...

Nova Scotians would just like to watch hockey without hearing cringey comments about the province

HALIFAX - After a thrilling overtime victory for Canada...

SNL50 to feature as many celebrities as possible in case Eddie Murphy doesn’t show

NEW YORK CITY - As Saturday Night Live prepares...