Tag: NHL

Stanley Cup parade organisers looking forward to confirming every negative stereotype about hockey players

FORT LAUDERDALE - With the Florida Panthers crowned NHL champions, organisers of the team's championship celebration festivities are excited for the opportunity to confirm...

Debate genius trounces all comers with well-timed salvo of “He hasn’t won the Cup!”

DARTMOUTH - An excited mass of reporters crowded into a small conference room, this morning, to get a chance to speak with Arnold Morris,...

Leafs brass promises to address team’s problems by trading away more first round picks

TORONTO - Following another tough elimination early in the Stanley Cup playoffs, Maple Leafs executives have stated that they intend to improve the club’s...

Matthews prepares for playoffs by failing to score important goal

TORONTO - After failing to reach the magical 70-goal plateau, Maple Leafs centre Auston Matthews explained that his inability to score the milestone marker...

Media buzzing after hockey player scores lacrosse-style goal for ten-billionth time

BOSTON - Hockey media was full of excited chatter, yesterday, after Hurricanes forward Andrei Svechnikov did the unthinkable and scored the rare lacrosse-style goal,...

Recent

Canadians solemnly gather to Remember to forget Soldiers of Colour

HALIFAX - A light drizzle accompanied a sacred gathering...

White women express outrage at election of man they voted for

WASHINGTON, DC - With major news outlets calling the...

Haligonians elect that guy from the thing

HALIFAX - The Nova Scotian capital's search for a...