HALIFAX – There was terror and pandemonium in the region’s largest city this weekend after a billboard featuring words in the Arabic language caused the sun to set an hour earlier than usual.
“I knew this would happen!” exclaimed Cole Harbour resident Morgan MacKenzie. “You open the doors to mass immigration, and the next thing you know you’re turning on your headlights at FOUR! It’s madness!”
Jeremy Guptill of Dartmouth agreed. “The omens are all there! First, guys with funny names are working as Skip the Dishes drivers and suddenly I’m too lazy to get off my arse and pick up some Wendy’s for myself. Then, when you want to wash down the crumbs and grease with some Timmies, you have to talk to this fellow who doesn’t sound like you and the next thing you know it’s raining on Halloween! And now this?!”.
“The sky is literally falling! An hour earlier!”
MacKenzie insisted that she and Guptill weren’t just a couple of whiney morons noting “The fact is, all communication should be in English or French, or this isn’t a province whose name is literally Latin!”.
At press time, yeah, sometimes we get ideas from Reddit, sue us. Actually, don’t sue us.
