OTTAWA – Statements of shock were expressed by, we assume, White people, because literally no person of colour with half-a-fucking-brain should be remotely surprised, today, after a member of Canada’s Men’s national soccer team was subjected to racist comments.
According to the Canadian Soccer Association (CSA), centre-back Moise Bombito, who is of Congolese descent, was the victim of virulently-prejudiced taunts following Thursday’s match against Argentina. Also, likely, preceding the match, during the match, and, probably, for the rest of his fucking life.
Based on reports, the comments were posted on Mr. Bombito’s instagram page, after he committed the serious infraction of existing.
For their part, the CSA has forwarded their concerns to CONCACAF, the governing body of North American Football, with spokesperson Alex Tolbert saying “We just want to let Moise know that we’re are super sad that happened to him, and he can rest assured that we’re going definitely read those comments and click our tongues in disappointed. Also, I dunno, maybe we’ll send him a signed Ronaldo jersey, or something”.
Releasing a statement of his own, Mr. Bombito responded with typical grace and humility; because he’s apparently a pretty nice guy and, if we were to guess, probably because if he chose to answer any other way, like, by swearing, or tracking the pissants down and taking a full swing with his pro-soccer-player legs to drive his boot up into their genitals, he would probably be criticised by people who have no goddamned business commenting on the matter.
In a related story, our editorial staff would like to take a moment pass on our belief to every sad, pathetic, marmot who directed their disgusting bile at Mr. Bombito that, not only is he a better athlete than you, he’s also smarter than you, better looking than you, has abs you could grate cheese with, and a mountain of other breathtaking demigods practically clawing each other’s eyes out to get a chance to jump into bed with him, losers.
